


Counting Sheep

by severaance



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Angst, Child Sexual Abuse, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, PTSD, Pedophilia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-17
Updated: 2016-03-17
Packaged: 2018-05-27 06:23:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6273271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/severaance/pseuds/severaance
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Does it still count as rape if I didn't say no?" Ten- his heart skips.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Counting Sheep

Reid has his head resting on Morgan's chest, arm haphazardly strewn across his midsection, sated from sex and sound asleep, when Morgan thinks about it. He's wide awake, unable to feel the same blissful fucked-out feeling. He stares at the ceiling until his vision swims and his hands begin to shake. 

"Does it still count?" He whispers into the darkness. Reid squirms slightly on top of him, letting out a sleepy whine. Morgan locks his jaw. 

"Does it still count?" He asks more forcefully this time. He sees Reid stir and he blinks once, twice, three times before his sleepy eyes adjust to the sight in front of him. 

"What? Does what count?" Reid asks groggily. Morgan has no right to be angry, but he is. 

"Does it still count if I didn't say no?" Morgan clarifies. He grabs a fistful of the sheets surrounding them and takes a few steadying breaths. One. Two. Three. Four. 

"Does what count, Derek?" Five. He winces at the sound of his name. He feels like the darkness in the room is seeping into his veins. He can feel it coursing through him every time his heart beats. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. 

"Does it still count as rape if I didn't say no?" Ten- his heart skips. 

"Derek.." Reid starts, but he knows it's futile. He stays impossibly still, afraid any movement will trigger something. It only makes it worse. 

"I need to know, Reid." Eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen - he's back at that cabin. He's bent over the pinball machine. He's staring at the lights as they twinkle and listening to the old loose parts rattle inside with the force of their movements. He doesn't say a word. He goes into his head. Fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen. 

When Reid holds his breath, it takes Morgan's away. 

"Not once did I say it. One word. One syllable and I could've made it stopped. I had a choice, didn't I?" The floorboards creak under his knees. The pain of the hard wood digging into his sensitive skin distracts from the acrid taste in his mouth. Nineteen, twenty, twenty-one, twenty-two, twenty-three more thrusts and he finishes. 

"You didn't say yes." Reid finally speaks. He reaches out a tentative hand to cautiously stroke Morgan's face. The latter counts the freckles on his lover's skin. Twenty-four, twenty-five, twenty-six, twenty-seven. 

"You didn't deserve this." Twenty-eight, twenty-nine, thirty seconds of pregnant silence. 

"You're with me now, though." 

Thirty-one, thirty-two, thirty-three minutes of tears. 

Thirty-four, thirty-five, thirty-six kisses shared. 

Thirty-seven, thirty-eight, thirty-nine, he's asleep. 

Forty. His dreams aren't confined to four walls and a roof.

**Author's Note:**

> "I can see the sun, but even if I cannot see the sun, I know that it exists. And to know that the sun is there - that is living." Fyodor Dostoyevsky


End file.
